1. Messaging you, was hard. Just needed to say that. It took nearly everything in me.
2. I haven’t been fair to you. I owe you replies, and answers and so much more. Things have become complicated due to our connection, and the fact that I can’t control the fact that I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. And you do deserve better. Don’t wait around for someone that isn’t worth it. I love you. You’re my best friend. But I don’t want to hurt you any more, and we need to talk about it.
3. I do need to pull my shit together. I’m working on that right now. I can’t promise it’s going to be an all up hill climb, because I know I’ll slip back down a few times. I’m sorry I threw all that at you last night, you didn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve any of this.
4. I’m sorry that you have to listen to me go off about every one else, and how I feel. I know it hurts you. I know you say it doesn’t matter. But it does. I know you care too much about me, and no enough about yourself. I love you to death, because you are my best friend, too. But it’s just not going to be the way you want, and I’m sorry. I promise I’m done.
I know that none of this, is going to be okay, just because I’ve written it down. I know that. I’m ready to take the time, and make it better as best as I can. I can’t promise it will be easy, or always consistant. No one can change things just like that. But I’m going to try.